Men Film Review

 

Horror fans i'm sure that you all don't really need me to be telling you this but A24 have been killing it with their horror films recently and now the company is back with yet another new horror film. Which I will admit just by the title alone made me think that this film was going to be full on woke however with the film now being out i'm pleased to say that it's not full on woke and so then join me as I review the weirdest horror film released this year with the freaking film in question being called simply just "Men" enjoy.

I really do wish that I could tell you whatever the plot of this film was however this films is so weird and strange that I have no idea what it actually is. This right here is a huge problem for me as it made it very hard for me to connect with or even engage with the film because I had absolutely no idea what was going on and as such I really do think that somebody should have told writer and director Alex Garland what the actual plot of this film even is in my freaking opinions anyways / at least.

Starring in this film is Jessie Buckley as Harper Marlowe and the great Rory Kinnear as Geoffrey and all of the other men in the village. Also starring in this film is Paapa Essiedu as James Marlowe and Gayle Rankin as Riley I will admit that I was shocked at how small of a cast that this film has but I really do feel that this works well enough for the films advantage in my freaking opinions anyways / at least.

Now then in terms of what I personally thought / felt about the actual acting that's actually featured / presented to us in this very film well then in all honesty I in all honesty personally thought / felt that the actual acting that's actually featured / presented to us in this very film was in all honesty really good. With all of this films actors and actresses really knocking it out of the freaking park acting wise in my freaking opinions anyways / at least. 

A special shout out has to go to Rory Kinnear who plays several characters in this one film from major characters to characters that only appear in one or even a few scenes. Yet he manages to make them all stand out and give them each their individual personality and so your not going to confuse one of his characters with the other and on top of all of that he also turns in a great performance as well in my freaking opinions anyways / at least.  

Now then if your expecting this film to be anything like the great EX Machina then lower your expectations. Since this film is nowhere even close to being in the same league as EX Machina since that film has an actual plot that you can actually make out and isn't just crazy and weird just for the sake of being crazy and weird which is the case with this freaking film in my freaking opinions anyways / at least.

Not really helping things with this film is the fact that this film is really confusing which makes the film very hard to follow. Which only serves to leave you scratching your head wondering what you've just been watching which is something that should never be the case if you want to make a movie that makes people smarter then do it but don't do it in a way that leaves that same audience confused as all heck which is also very sadly the case with this freaking film in my freaking opinions anyways / at least. 

What I really did like about this film is the fact that it really does take it's time to scare you which for me at least is a good thing. As it allows tension to be built up which does make any scares that we get in this film all the more rewarding because even tho we know that it's coming because of how well built up the tension is your all the more scared when it does eventually happen in my freaking opinions anyways / at least.

Now then this film has / had an exact grand total running time of exactly one hour and thirty six minuets and twenty nine seconds. Which for a film that's this confusing and very hard to follow is bit on the the long side but again to this films advantage this films pacing is really good with this film really just flying by so much so that you don't even realise that your near the end of the film which is always a freaking good thing for me personally in my freaking opinions anyways / at least.

So now then since this film is a horror film that means that I have to actually talk about the actual scares that are actually featured / presented to us in this very film and well then in all honesty I in all honesty personally thought / felt that the actual scares that are actually featured / presented to us in this very film are in all honesty pretty bad. This is not a knock on the film tho it's just because I personally didn't find this film to be that scary but I can see other people finding this film to be really scary tho in my freaking opinions anyways / at least.

Overall while this film isn't a bad horror film it's also clearly not the best horror film that A24 have released thus far and it's also not a film that I can see staining their record of good horror movies either in my freaking opinions anyways / at least. Now i've talked about all of the good and as well as all of the bad things that are in this very film in this very review and as such that means that this very film erns itself a grand old score of exactly a 7.5 out of 10 from me.

Now then as for where I personally got all of the images that I personally used in this very review well then boys and girls and as well as ladies and gentlemen I personally got all of the images that I personally used in this very review from IMP Awards . Com and Google Images. With my personally preferred website to use to get images from this film being Google Images simply because Google Images actually has images from this film up on Google Images and pus pretty much much all of the images that I personally found on Google Images were all fairly high quality and as well as being as fairly high definition and so then horror fans we ends this review as we always do with our one and true goddess Elvira wishing us all some very unpleasant dreams.

Elvira's Haunted Hills Film Review

 

Elvira is a pop culture icon with the character having appeared in several TV series and TV specials over the years. The character did of course also star in the film Elvira, Mistress Of The Dark however not alot of people seem to know or even seem to mentioned the fact that the character also starred in a second live action movie and so then join me as I review the movie that nobody seems to mention when there talking about Elvira's movies with the film in question being called simply just "Elvira's Haunted Hills" enjoy.

The plot of this film is Elvira and her maidservant Zou Zou find themselves in a castle after being kicked out of the inn that they were staying in and the two find themselves in for the fight of their very lives. Now then interms of what I personally thought / felt about the actual plot that's actually featured / presented to us in this very film well then in all honesty I in all honesty personally thought / felt that the actual plot that's actually featured / presented to us in this very film was in all honesty not that bad but the issue is that it also wasn't all of that very freaking good either in my freaking opinions anyways / at least.

Starring in this film is this films co-writer Cassandra Peterson as Elvira / Lady Elura Hellsubus and Richard O'Brien as Lord Vladimere Hellsubus. Also starring in this film is Mary Scheer as Lady Ema Hellsubus , Scott Atkinson as Dr. Bradley Bradley , Gabriel Andronache as Adrian , Mary Jo Smith as Zou Zou , Heather Hopper as Lady Roxanna Hellsubus and Remus Cernat as Nicholai Hellsubus.

Now then interms of what I personally thought / felt about the actual acting that's actually featured / presented to us in this very film well then in all honesty I in all honesty personally thought / felt that the actual acting that's actually featured / presented to us in this very film was in all honesty not that bad. Which was something that really cought me of guard since this film used mostly unknown actors and actresses and so then the fact that this film had some decent acting within it was a really good thing in my freaking opinions anyways / at least. 

For strange reason people only credit Elvira, Mistress Of The Dark as the only film that has starred the Elvira character in live action at least. This isn't just casual mainstream people either this is journalists who's job it is to do research into whatever it is that there talking about and yet they don't seem to be able to do a quick Google search which is such a shame because this film when it gets it right it can be really freaking good in my freaking opinions anyways / at least.

For some strange reason around the mid way point in this film we get an Elvira song number which literally comes out of nowhere and it adds nothing to the overall plot of the film. Which is a shame because it is a semi-decent song and Cassandra Peterson does sing this song as best as she can do but my issue with this song is it's not only very badly written but it's also just a pointless song that could have been removed from the film and nothing about the film would have been effected at all whatsoever in my freaking opinions anyways / at least.

This film was meant to be a parody of Roger Corman and of the films of Edgar Allan Poe and of the Hammer Studios horror films. Which is something that you can see quite clearly in the design for the interior of the titular castle because that main interior set looks massive and just like they would do in all of those classic Roger Corman films they get alot of use just out of that one set which for what is basically a direct to DVD movie looks really freaking impressive in my freaking opinions anyways / at least.   

What I found to be a really interesting aspect of this film is the fact that Elvira looks like somebodies dead wife. However what let this aspect film down for me is the fact that the film really doesn't take full advantage of that like the film does show Elvira getting possessed twice but the amount of jokes that you could have gotten out of that is quite alot and the film just doesn't go for any of them which is a shame because like i've just said you could have gotten some really funny moments out of those possession scenes in my freaking opinions anyways / at least.

Now then this film has / had an exact grand total running time of exactly one hour and thirty minuets and six seconds. Which is the absolutely perfect running time for a film like this one to last simply because of the fact that this film really doesn't have enough there interms of either plot or story to last any longer then one hour and thirty minuets and so then this film coming in exactly when it does is a freaking good thing as it means that there are very rarely any unneeded or even pointless scenes in this film as every single scene in this film has to be about moving the plot of the film forward in my freaking opinions anyways /at least. 

So now then since this film is a comedy film that means that I have to actually talk about the actual comedy that's actually featured / presented to us in this very film and well then in all honesty I in all honesty personally thought / felt that the actual comedy that's actually featured / presented to us in this very film was in all honesty fairly bad. Don't get me wrong there are some genuinely funny jokes in this film but there were alot more unfunny jokes which didn't even get a smirk out of me let alone a laugh or a chuckle which for a comedy film is always going to be a very bad thing indeed in my freaking opinions anyways / at least. 

Overall this film quite clearly isn't as good as Elvira, Mistress Of The Dark but it is still a fairly funny film with a character that is very well known within popular culture and so people really should talk about this film alot more in my freaking opinions anyways / at least. Now i've talked about all of the good and as well as all of the bad things that are in this very film in this very review and as such that means that this very film erns itself a grand old score of exactly a 5 out of 10 from me.

Now then as for where I personally got all of the images that I personally used in this very review well then boys and girls and as well as lades and gentlemen I personally got all of the images that I personally used in this very review from IMP Awards . Com , Amazon .Co . Uk and Google Images. With my personally preferred website to use to get images from this film being Google Images simply because Google Images actually has images from this film up on Google Images and pus pretty much much all of the images that I personally found on Google Images were all fairly high quality and as well as being as fairly high definition and so then horror fans we ends this review as we always do with our one and true goddess Elvira wishing us all some very unpleasant dreams.

Firestarter 2022 Film Review

 

Stephen King fans the horror legend has made tons of horror novels over the years and sadly alot of those books don't always equal good movies. Well now we have another new Stephen King adaptation to add to this list of films and it's a film that has has such a poor marketing campaign that i'd be surprised if any of you even knew that this film was out and so then join me as I review the film not alot of people would even know is even a thing with the film in question being called simply just "Firestarter" enjoy.

I really have no idea whatever the plot of this film is not because it's a super deep and complicated plot but because of the fact that this film has no plot to speak of whatsoever. This is always the first sign of a bad movie since your film really does need a plotline in order to fully justify it's existence and when you rob a film of having a plot line then your also robbing it of it's reason to even exist in the first place and no matter how you look at it that will always be a very bad thing indeed in my freaking opinions anyways / at least. 

Starring in this film is High School Musical star Zac Efron as Andrew "Andy" McGee and Ryan Kiera Armstrong as Charlene "Charlie" McGee. Also starring in this film is Fear The Walking Dead star Sydney Lemmon as Victoria "Vicky" Tomlinson-McGee , That 70's Show star Kurtwood Smith as Dr. Joseph Wanless , John Beasley as Irv Manders , Michael Greyeyes as John Rainbird and Gloria Reuben as Captain Hollister.

Now then interms of what I personally thought / felt about the actual acting that's actually featured / presented to us in this very film well then in all honesty I in all honesty personally thought / felt that the actual acting that's actually featured / presented to us in this very film was in all honesty not that bad. However that's also the issue as this films acting isn't that good either since for good performance we get in this film we get one that's equally bad as well and that really does bring down the overall quality of the acting that's in this film in my freaking opinions anyways / at least. 

For once i'm stuck on who is actually doing the CGI for this film since no company is listed anywhere on the internet. Which in this case is a very good thing indeed because I hated this films over relicense of CGI since every single piece of fire that Charlie uses in this film is CGI and just looks horrible heck if anything they should have stuck to just doing practical fire effects since this film quite clearly didn't have a big enough budget to produce effects that are even just OK in my freaking opinions anyways / at least.  

This film is of course remake or a reboot of the 1984 Drew Barrymore film and the 1980 Stephan King novel of the exact same name. While I cannot for the life of me say which is better I can say that this film feels alot more like Carrie then it does anything else since there is a sequence in this film that would be right at home in a Carrie adaptation but here it just seems wrong and out of place now weather or not this sequence in either the original film or in the book I don't know but it is something that shouldn't have been included in this film in my freaking opinions anyways / at least.

This film puts quite a bit of time and effort into making us care about the relationship between Charlie and her father Andy. Which does make alot of sense and it is something that I liked in this film since given the subject matter it makes sense to build up their relationship both before and during the events of this film however the payoff to all of this build up just doesn't work for me since it seems a bit off which I don't know if this pay off was in the book and the original film but it is something that should have been tweaked to better suit this film in my freaking opinions anyways / at least.

There are some scenes that are in this film that are very hard to see which does make this film very borderline unwatchable in parts. Which is a shame because the parts that are very hard to see at times are giving out some vital plot information and so I really do think that some effort should have been into making this film a little bit more easier to see since that help the film out quite a bit in my freaking opinions anyways / at least.

Now then this film has / had an exact grand total running time of exactly one hour and thirty four minuets and twenty seconds. Which is a bit of a long running time for a film like this one and not really helping things is the fact that this film pretty much has no plot to speak of and so you just end up watching a ton of boring scenes and very exciting and very cool five minuet scene near the end in my freaking opinions anyways / at least.

So now then since this film is a horror film after all that means that I have to actually talk about the actual horror that's actually featured / presented to us in this very film and well then in all honesty I in all honesty personally thought / felt that the actual horror that's actually featured / presented to us in this film was in all honesty really bad. Since there was nothing really scary in this film and all of this films deaths were for the most just the same and with very badly done CGI which made those deaths laughably bad in my freaking opinions anyways / at least.

Overall while I cannot say if this film is a good remake or a good reboot a can say that this film is pretty bad film and as such I can very easily see why this film was released on both streaming and into cinemas because this film is just that bad in my freaking opinions anyways / at least. Now i've talked about all of the good and as well as all of the bad in this very film in this very review that means that this film erns itself a grand old score of exactly a 5 out of 10 from me.

Now then as for where I personally got all of the images that I personally used in this very review well then boys and girls and as well as ladies and gentlemen I personally got all of the images that I personally used in this very review from IMP Awards . Com and Google Images. With my personally preferred website to use to get images from this film being Google Images simply because Google Images actually has images from this film up on Google Images and pus pretty much much all of the images that I personally found on Google Images were all fairly high quality and as well as being as fairly high definition and so then horror fans we ends this review as we always do with our one and true goddess Elvira wishing us all some very unpleasant dreams.

3 From Hell Film Review

 

Horror fans Rob Zombie is very divisive director with some people liking his films and others not liking his films. I happen to fall right in the middle with some of his films being quite entertaining while others end up like his version of Halloween 2 with them just strange and weird for the sake of being strange and weird and so then join me as I review the film that is the latest Rob Zombie film to be made with the film in question being called simply just "3 From Hell" enjoy.

The plot of this film is Otis , Baby and there stepbrother find themselves on the run after both Otis and Baby escape from prison. Now then interms of what I personally thought / felt about the actual plot that's actually featured / presented to us in this very film well then in all honesty I in all honesty personally thought / felt that the actual plot that's actually featured / presented to us in this very film was in all honesty not that bad with this films plotline being fairly entertaining and fairly engaging as well in my freaking opinions anyways / at least.

Starring in this film is the late and the most certainly great Sid Haig as Captain Spaulding and Sheri Moon Zombie as Vera-Ellen 'Baby' Firefly. Also starring in this film is Bill Moseley as Otis B. Driftwood , Richard Brake as Winslow Foxworth 'Foxy' Coltrane , Danny Trejo as Rondo , Dee Wallace as Greta , Daniel Roebuck as Morris Green , Jeff Daniel Phillips as Warden Virgil Dallas Harper , Pancho Moler as Sebastian , Steven Michael Quezada as Diego , Jackie S. Garcia as Princesa , Bill Oberst Jr. as Tony Commando , Lucinda Jenney as Nebraska , Austin Stoker as Earl Gibson , Emilio Rivera as Aquarius and Clint Howard as Mr. Baggy Britches.

Now then interms of what I personally thought / felt about the actual acting that's actually featured / presented to us in this very film well then in all honesty I in all honesty personally thought / felt that the actual acting that's actually featured / presented to us in this very film was in all honesty not that bad. With the actors that the you expect a great performance from giving a truly great performance and people like Sheri Moon Zombie for example giving an as expected OK performance at best in my freaking opinions anyways / at least.

Now then this film was the late and the great Sid Haig who very sadly died not long after this film officially premiered. This does explain why he's only really in one scene since he couldn't commit to filming a full film just due to his declining health but either way it's only fitting that his character gets killed in the way that they do and it's something that i'm very Sid himself would want to have happened to his character in my freaking opinions anyways / at least. 

This film does indeed answer the cliffhanger from the end of the The Devil's Rejects but even so the answer doesn't make any kind of sense since there's no way in heck that this characters could have survive the end of The Devil's Rejects. As such this film ultimately ends up undoing what was the absolutely perfect ending for these characters which is a shame because when this film gets something right it really gets it right but this is just one of the many things that this films gets wrong in my freaking opinions anyways / at least.

For some strange reason this film turns all three of the devil's rejects into anti-heroes which makes no sense since they are quite clearly meant to be viewed as the villains. So turning them into anti-heroes whilst that is a very good idea it's an idea that just doesn't work since you simply cannot turn a family of serial killers into a group of anti-heroes it would be just as strange if they turned Leatherface and his entire family into a group of anti-heroes in The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 in my freaking opinions anyways / at least. 

As with pretty much every single Rob Zombie film he likes to show of his wife an awful lot in this film and it's getting to the point now where it's really annoying. In Halloween 2007 it made sense because his wife's character was a stripper so there it made sense but in literally every other film that he's made it makes no sense at all and in all honesty it makes me worried that he's going to do the exact same thing again in The Munsters because you just know that he only cast his wife in that movie just to show her of again in my freaking opinions anyways / at least.

This film has / had a whopping grand total running time of exactly one hour and fifty five minuets and forty seven seconds. Which is such a long running time for a film like this one heck if anything a film like this one should have been no longer then one hour and thirty minuets since that's all the story that this film has to cover since everything that's surrounding Baby escaping from prison just feels like padding since it adds absolutely nothing to the overall plot of the film whatsoever in my freaking opinions anyways / at least.

So now then this film is a horror film after all and that means that I have to actually talk about the actual horror that's actually featured / presented to us in this very film and well then in all honesty I in all honesty personally thought / felt that the actual horror that's actually featured / presented to us in this very film was in all honesty not that bad. With alot of this films being genuinely quite creative and cool however there are alot of kills in this film that happen off screen which for a horror film is never a good thing whatsoever in my freaking opinions anyways / at least.

Overall if this film is to be the final film for these characters then I would be really unhappy because this film doesn't do these characters justice since these characters would go out in a blaze of glory even if that meant that they all ended up dying in my freaking opinions anyways / at least. Now i've talked about all of the good and as well as all of the bad things that are in this very film in this very review and as such that means that this very film erns itself a freaking grand old score of exactly a 5 out of 10 from me.

Noe then as for where I personally got all of the images that I personally used in this very review well then boys and girls and as well as ladies and gentlemen I personally got all of the images that I personally used in this very review from IMP Awards . Com and Google Images. With my personally preferred website to use to get images from this film being Google Images simply because Google Images actually has images from this film up on Google Images and pus pretty much much all of the images that I personally found on Google Images were all fairly high quality and as well as being as fairly high definition and so then horror fans we ends this review as we always do with our ne and true goddess Elvira wishing us all some very unpleasant dreams.