Horror has been having quite the high over the past years with films like Late Night With The Devil , In A Violent Nature and Obsession all proving that horror films be done well with a few of them even becoming huge box office hits. However for ever high there must be a low and while there are a great deal many of horror films that could be that low point just for this year alone the film that i'm going to be talking to you all about is easily one one of the lowest horror films of this past year and so then join me as I give you my SPOILER FILLED review of the film that is the quintessential Eli Roth horror film with the film in question being called simply just "Ice Cream Man" enjoy.
The plot of this film is when an evil ice cream man arrives into his town it's up to Jared his sister Lizzy and his friends Tommy and Mia to try and stop him before it's far to late. Now then interms of what I personally thought / felt about the actual plot that's actually featured / presented to us in this very film well then in all honesty I in all honesty personally thought / felt that the actual plot that's actually featured / presented to us in this very film was in all honesty really bad. There's really no point in sugar coating this at all as yeah this films is really bad and not in a way that makes it become good again as the film for alot of the time doesn't seem to have a plot this is despite the fact that the idea of a bunch of kids having a stop a creepy person is a good idea. The films plot is even wafer thin at best as the film does pick up and drop it's plot not only several times to the point where you have to ask yourself just what the main plot of the film is even meant to be in the first place but it also does it for large portions of the film with the films plot feeling secondary to the films kills and whilst that might have worked in the eighties and nineties as it's clear as day that this film is meant to be a throwback to the slasher films of that era it's something that doesn't work today as today we do expect an actual plot in our horror movies with films like Obsession and Late Night With The Devil proving that you can have effective horror moments and still have alot of focus on plot and yet it's something that this films co-producer , co-writer and director Eli Roth who himself made the great Thanksgiving has seemingly forgotten to do in this film with the plot of this film not really being really rather entertaining and as well as being really rather engaging as well in my freaking opinions anyways / at least.
Starring in this film is Ari Millen as Jonathan Smiley / The Ice Cream Man , Charlie Zeltzer as Jared and Shiloh O'Reilly as Tommy. Also starring in this film is Kiori Mirza Waldman as Mia , Sarah Abbott as Lizzie , Benjamin Byron Davis as The Priest , Dylan Hawco as Chris , Saw VI and Thanksgiving star Karen Cliche as Alison , this films co-producer , co-writer and director Eli Roth as Marty , Darrin Baker as Principal Maloney , Rodrigo Fernandez-Stoll as Mr. Hamlin , Charlie Storey as Piper and Luke Dietz as Elliot.
Now then interms of what I personally thought / felt about the actual acting that's actually featured / presented to us in this very film well then in all honesty I in all honesty personally thought / felt that the actual acting that's actually featured / presented to us in this very film was in all honesty average at best. The fact that this films acting is about as average as it gets is something that is both a good and a bad thing it's a bad thing as Eli Roth as a director can get good acting out of his actors and yet here it feels like he's just being lazy and it's a good thing because of the fact that this films actors are for the most part very little known actors and therefor of course we wouldn't know what to expect from them acting wise and while some are used better then others those that are used in the right way do give us some good performances. With the best actor in this film being Charlie Zeltzer as Jared as the whole film really does rest on him giving us a good performance which is a lot of pressure to put on a kid actor and thank god he pulled off as well as he could done because if not this film would sunk even further with him making Jared just this typical normal kid who is thrown into this extraordinary situation and yet it is something that he does pull off with him having some great chemistry with Sarah Abbott , Shiloh O'Reilly and Kiori Mirza Waldman and while the kid might have a future as an actor he does thus far need a good director to get that good performance out of him with him being really good in this film and having a natural charm and charisma that does come through in his final performance. With the acting that's in this film not really being helped by the fact that this films script is just so bad as it gives none of this films actors absolutely anything to work with interms of what it is that there actual characters personalities are even meant to be in the first place which is something that really does harm the overall quality of the acting that's in this very film.
This films character are about as bad as you'd expect them to be as there really is nothing to any of this films characters. It would be a stretch to say that these characters have one personality trait as they don't even have that there just bland characters that do feel like the kinds of characters that we would have seen in a cheaply made eighties slasher film which would have been fine if this film was released in the eighties but it wasn't it was made and released this year and therefor there should have been some amount of effort put into this films characters and not just have them be stock character types with Jared being the leader of the group , Tommy being the wisecracker and both Mia and Lizzie being the token girl character. This films characters and the kinds of characters that would get made fun off in a parody movie as there's nothing to them outside of what the film needs there personality to be from scene to scene with them feeling like the kinds of characters that we would see in a the first draft of a script and not the characters that you want to see in the finished product and yet Elio Roth and co-writer Noah Belson who does deserve as much hate for this film as what Eli Roth is currently getting thought these characters where OK to be in the film when it wouldn't have hurt them to re-write the script as this is something that would have allowed them to make changes to the characters and yet they didn't as they clearly didn't care enough to go that extra mile to give us characters that have personalities to begin with, while yes granted the makers of this film do a decent enough job of making the characters that your meant to like likable none of that means anything as there's nothing to make feel anything for the characters in the first place.
SPOILERS START HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Despite the film sharing the same title of the 1995 film Ice Cream Man this film is actually not a remake of that film it's it's own unique thing with the only things that the two films share is a the title and the fact that the killer is an ice cream man and that's it. This is kind of a confusing thing as the film is titled after a 1995 film and even features the same type of villain and yet it's not a remake if your going to steal that much from the original film hen you might as well go all the way and just make it a remake as the audience is already confused in the first place as alot of them will be expecting it to be a remake and yet it's not and the other half isn't sure if it's remake or not when it would have been so much more easier for everyone involved just to make it a remake. Altho given the fact that this film borrows from alot of other horror films ranging from Weapons to Children Of The Corn it might have been for the best that they didn't add in another horror film to the mix but speaking off that it is weird that they made the film like Children Of The Corn and Weapons as we do see the children going insane and killing every single adult that they see which is great for the films kills but all it does is remind you that you could be watching two other films when doing something original would have helped the film all the more as then the film would have the chance to standing on it's own with out the comparisons to those other films and yet due to the fact that the tried to make ice cream scary much like how Stephen King tried to make corn scary and how Weapons tried to make running with your arms out scary it just doesn't work as those films explained why those things are scary in the first place and yet there the reveal as to why the ice cream man and his ice cream being scary is just so stupid with alot of it being unanswered that all it does is leave you asking more questions.
Whilst alot of people are going to rightfully be talking about the use of AI in the animated segments in the film. What is more frustrating is the fact that Eli Roth himself stated sometime ago that there was no AI in his film and those animated segments where all 2D hand drawn animation and yet now when the film is coming out does he say that's it's AI look it would have been one thing if he always said that it was AI and that he was going to be using that technology with him giving us a reason as to why he went that rout like maybe the production couldn't afford to do hand drawn animation and therefor they wen with AI as it's the cheaper option that would've been fine as then they'd be a logistical reason for it in the film but he didn't he openly lied for months about for sometime with there being no reason given as to why they used AI in the first place. To be fair to this film the AI used in the film isn't that noticeable if you dont know that it's being used as there's nothing about those animated segments that truly stand out and make it obvious that it was done using AI but if you know that it is being used then it is something that will notice right away and while it is wrong that it is being used that as they very easily could have done some hand drawn animation for the film given how long it takes to make animated shorts in that style that might not have been the best of options and it might have been why the makers of this film chose to use AI as for why they chose to lie about it that is a tougher question to answer as if they said it was in the film early on then they could have used the negative attention to the films advantage and used it to get more people to see the film but by doing it as late as they did they pretty much guaranteed that that was never going to happen.
For some odd reason this film is less of a straight up slasher film and more of a horror comedy which by all means isn't a bad idea as the film does have a goofy enough main villain that it could work. However the makers of the film forgot to do one very important thing when making a comedy and that's give us jokes that are actually funny as while yes the film does indeed have jokes in it none of them are funny like for example there's joke and Jared falls over while being chased by possessed kids with him being unable to catch up to his friends because of the fact that he tripped over his shoe laces granted this is a funny twist on the trope of someone tripping when there running but the film does nothing funny with that idea. The same thing is true for when Lizzy needs rescuing from her love interest with him only agreeing to rescue her if she agreed to go out on a date with him which isn't funny and yet the film wastes alot of time on just that joke with there only being one joke in the whole film where I chuckled and that's it and it's not even a memorable joke with the joke being this obsessed overly protet9ive type of mother scolding her possessed kid for apparently bullying someone which was a funny little joke and the fact that they bring that character back once more does make it all the more funnier and yet it's that one joke out of the entire film that was somewhat funny as the makers of this film put more thought and more effort into the films horror aspect then they did the comedy aspects when if your doing something that is essentially a horror comedy the split needs to be even for it work and there needs to be jokes that are actually funny and just really groan inducing alike alot of the jokes in this film did ultimately end up being.
Now then the this film has / had an exact grand total running time of exactly one hour and nineteen minuets and twenty two seconds. Which much like alot of other things in this film is a huge problem for the film as this is a film that really needed to be at the very least one hour and forty to to maybe one hour and forty five minuets as there is so much to pack into this film and with the extra running time then the film would have been while to fully flesh out both it's plot and characters something which it isn't able to do with it's current running time as the film dos gave alot of things to fit in and something does end up falling threw cracks that being the fact that the film doesn't fully flesh out both the plot and the characters this is despite the fact that this film really does have more then enough plot there to cover that amount of running time in the first place. With the film not even using its running time all that wisely as the film doesn't take the time to fully develop it's alot as it couldn't afford to as the film does have so much stuff to fit in that does it leave the film feeling over stuffed with this being something that could have been fixed if the film was a little bit longer with this then having the advantage of allowing the makers of the film to give the plot more focus and development however tho the makers of this film alot more focused on fetishizing then they are in giving us a well developed plot. This is something that does also effect the films character development as well as none of the films characters are allowed to become fully developed characters as the film has to rush along to the next plot point and it has to rush along to the next kill whereas if the film was longer then it would be able to to give the character the character development that they really did it with it being made crystal clear that the makers of this film put more thought into the films comedy that they did into giving the film characters some character development but I really will admit that this film really does have some really good pacing to it tho.
So now then as this is a slasher that really does mean that I have to actually talk about the actual kills that are actually featured / presented to us in this very film well then in all honesty I in all honesty personally thought / felt that the actual kills that are actually featured / presented to us in this very film was in all honesty really good. With the films kills being the best part of the film as there is alot more thought and creativity put into the films kills then there was to quite literally any other aspect of the film and may god does it show as we do get some really good fun and gory kills in the film all of which work and while one of them are goofy which given the fact that the films killer is an ice cream man they really could have been they do still work for the film. With the best kill in the whole entire film not really being one kill as it's the sequence at the school where we do get to see all of the possessed kids going nuts and killing all of their teachers in really fun and gruesome ways with some of them throwing bricks at teacher and a girl scalps a teacher before cutting his head opening and scooping out and eating a piece of his brain and yet its not only the adults that get killed as we see a kid fall to his death where there are bunch of possessed kids standing on the roof his was just on this is something that does highlight the Children Of The Corn nature of the film and it is something that does work as it shows us just how far that these kids are willing to go to once they fully under The Ice Cream Man's control with it being something that does work for this film as it gives alot of really fun kills in such a short amount of time with the rest of the films kills being just as good as well in my freaking opinions anyways / at least.
SPOILERS END HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Overall believe all of the hate about this film as it's all true and while there alot more worse horror films out there just look at Darby's Screamhouse as one of them this surely really has to be one of the worst horror films of the year as apart from the kills and some of the acting there's really nothing all that redeemable about the film in my freaking opinions anyways / at least. Now then i've talked about all of the good and as well as all of the bad things that are in this very film in this very review and a such that really does mean that this very film really does earn itself a grand old score of exactly a 5 out of 10 from me.
Now then as for where I personally got all of the images that I personally used in this very review well then boys and girls and as well as ladies and gentlemen I personally got all of the images that I personally used in this very review from Tenor, Amazon . Co . Uk , IMP Awards . Com and Google Images. With my personally preferred website to use to get images from this film being Google Images simply because Google Images actually has images from this film really are up and on Google Images and plus pretty much much all of the images that I personally found on Google Images were all really very fairly high quality and as well as being as really very fairly high definition as well and so then horror fans we end this review as we always do with really our one and true goddess Elvira wishing us all some really very unpleasant dreams.




































