It's not unusual for a TV show to get adapted into a movie infact it's a shockingly common thing that is still going to this very day. However what alot of those shows have in common is the fact that they are all never based of off a soap opera well that is not the case for this film as this film was based of off a soap opera and so then join me as I review the film that proved that Johnny Deep just really doesn't make that good of a good vampire with the film n question being called simply just "Dark Shadows" enjoy.
The plot of this film us the first thing that's wrong with this film as this film has no plot so speak of whatsoever. Which is fine for an ongoing soap opera but when your a feature length film you need to have a plot as you don't have weeks upon weeks of television in order to tell your story you just have two hours and that's it and when you rob a film of it's story you also rob it of it's reason or being made which is very sadly the case of this film as the film just feels like it didn't need to be made and that comes down to the fact that the film itself has no plot to speak of which just makes this film rather pointless and aimless.
Starring in this film is Johnny Depp as Barnabas Collins and Eva Green as Angelique "Angie" Bouchard. Also starring in this film is Bella Heathcote as Victoria Winters / Josette Du Pres , Michelle Pfeiffer as Elizabeth Collins Stoddard , Helena Bonham Carter as Dr. Julia Hoffman , Jonny Lee Miller as Roger Collins , Chloë Grace Moretz as Carolyn Stoddard , Gully McGrath as David Collins , Jackie Earle Haley as Willie Loomis , Ray Shirley as Mrs. Sarah Johnson and the late Sir Christopher Lee as Silas Clarney.
Now then interms of what I personally thought / felt about the actual acting that's actually featured / presented to us in this very film well then in all honesty I in all honesty personally thought / felt that the actual acting that's actually featured / presented to us in this very film was in all honesty not that bad. However that's also the issue as this films acting isn't all that good either which is a shame as we know that this films cast can turn in some good performances but they need a good script in order to do and sadly it's this films script that lets the actors down as this films script gives this actors and actresses absolutely nothing to work with interms of what their respective characters even are and so they can't turn in that good of a performance simply as this films script just really simply won't allow them all to do so.
If your like me then you most likely didn't know that this film was based of off the soap opera of the same name. With the series itself running between June 27th 1966 and ending it's run on April 2nd 1971 with the show having aired a whopping one thousand two hundred and twenty five episodes and while I can't tell if the show had any of it's storylines adapted for this film I can say that given that the show ran for as long as it did and given just how crazy the storylines on the show just from reading the shows wikipedia page I doubt that they adapted any of the shows storylines just to avoid any of the crazy and wacky storylines that were featured in the show itself.
This was firs time that Eva Green worked with director Tim Burton with the duo still making movies together. I have to admit that I was shocked to see that Eva Green was in this movie just because I haven't seen this movie in well over ten years but it's not really helped by the fact that her character much like all of the other characters in this movie are just forgettable which is a shame because she plays a really good villain with her character being one of the few characters that is actually fun to see in this movie and while her character is given some decent motivation what doesn't make sense is why she chose in the same town for centuries as her character never ages and the people in town just don't question it at all.
As a horror movie this film just straight up doesn't work as it's not scary and has no atmosphere to help to make it scary. Which shouldn't be the case as vampires are the easiest creature in the world to make scary and yet this film can't even make Johnny Depp's vampire character scary with his character particularly coming of the worst when it comes to the look of the characters as well as he just looks like a stereotypical Tim Burton character which doesn't make him unique nor does it help to make him scary and as the whole idea of the film rides on him being scary I really do think that alot more effort should have gone into making the actual film itself actually scary.
If there was one word that I could use to describe this whole entire film it's forgettable because that's exactly what this film is. It's forgettable heck just last yea the film reached it's tenth anniversary and not alot of people where talking about this film and alot of what makes this film is the fact that it doesn't know what it wants to be as it will try telling a bad joke in one scene and then t'll try to be scary in the very next scene with nothing to ease the transition and so this film comes across as being a tonal mess and when you add in the fact that this film has no plot to speak of much like an episode of a soap opera then it's no wonder that this film has very largely been forgotten about by the larger film loving and horror loving world.
Now then this film has / had an exact grand total running time of exactly one hour and fifty three minuets and five seconds. Which for this film is far to long especially since for large portions of the films running nothing is happening as all we do is spend large portions of this films running time is spent just watching the characters just go about their day to day lives and while that's fine for the first couple of minuets it;s not fine when that's the overall majority of the films running time this is made somewhat worse when you realise that the first several minuets of the films running time is spent on a flashback scene that would have been much better used if it was cut up and used at various points in the films running time bu I will admit that this film does have some decent pacing to it tho with film for the most part just flying right on by.
So now then since this is a comedy that means that I have to actually talk about the actual comedy that's actually featured / presented to us in this very film well then in all honesty I in all honesty personally thought / felt that the actual comedy that's actually featured / presented to us in this very film was in all honesty really bad. With this film having alot more bad jokes then it does good jokes which is a shame because when this film tells a a somewhat decent joke it can be pretty funny it's just a shame then that the film is more focused on telling bad jokes then it is telling actually funny jokes in my freaking opinions anyways / at least.
Overall it's not hard to see why this has largely been forgotten as it's not a very memorable film at all and because of that the film is doomed to be lost to sands of time in my freaking opinions anyways / at least. Now then i've talked about all of the good and as well as all of the and bad things that are in this very film in this very review and as such that means that this very earns itself a grand old score of exactly a 4.5 out of 10 from me.
Now then as for where I personally got all of the images that I personally used in this very review well then boys and girls and as well as ladies and gentlemen I personally got all of the images that I personally used in this very review from IMP Awards . Com and Google Images. With my personally preferred website to use to get images from this film being Google Images simply because Google Image actually has images from this film up on Google Images and plus pretty much much all of the images that I personally found on Google Images were all really very fairly high quality and as well as being as really very fairly high definition as well and so then horror fans we end this review as we always do with really our one and true goddess Elvira wishing us all some really very unpleasant dreams.
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