Monday, 7 April 2025

Shiver Me Timbers 2025 Film Review



For some weird reason young horror filmmakers are obsessed with turning Popeye into a slasher villain as this is now the third slasher film to be released this year that has Popeye as the main villain. With this hopefully being the final one this year as out of all three that have been released so far only one of them was actually good and hint it's not this one with this one being the only one that I was actively looking forward to as I hadn't heard of any of the others and so then join me as I review the film that turns Olive Oyl into a goth for literally no reason whatsoever with the film in question being called simply just "Shiver Me Timbers" enjoy.

The plot of this film is when her and her friends go camping to see a comet flying by Olive and her friends suddenly find themselves being stalked by a sailor who is bent on killing them. Now then interms of what I personally thought / felt about the actual plot that's actually featured / presented to us in this very film well then in all honesty I in all honesty personally thought / felt that the actual plot that's actually featured / presented to us in this very film was in all honesty not tat bad but at the same time tho this films plot isn't all that good either as it's just so generic with the plot of the film basically being the same plot as quite literally any eighties slasher film that's set at a summer camp only remove the fact that there not going there for the summer and you'd basically have the plot of this film heck Popeye The Slayer Man had a better plot then this film did as the plot of that film at least had thought and effort put into it and while there is some effort put into the plot of this film it's something that just doesn't work as it's something that we've all seen done better in other and better movies with it once again becoming very clear that the makers of this film only put alot of effort into making sure that you know that a beloved kids character is the main villain when what they should have done is put just as much if not more effort into giving us a plot that not only suits the Popeye character but is also new and different as well with the plot of this film not really being really rather entertaining and not really being really rather engaging either in my freaking opinions anyways / at least.


Starring in this film is Amy Mackie as Olive Oyl , Murdo Adams as Skits and Stephen Corrall as Lt. Lang. Also starring in this film is Paul Dewdney as Homeless George , Ross Dillon as Trent , Keith Hewitt as Detective Montgomery , Yu Heng Li as Monique , Seb Lord as Spike , this film writer , editor , one of this films producers and this films director Paul Stephen Mann as Detective Zanaletto , Donnamarie McCusker as A Mother , Joel McDade as Stevie , Ty Moore as Caller Wes , Brendan Nelson as Castor Oyl , Niamh Parrington as Cylinda , Leona Roberts as Lizzy , John Ryder as The Narrator and DJ Bruce , one of this films producers Alastair Statham as Detective Holmes , Alexa Wright as The Little Girl , David Hallows as Skinny Popeye and Tony Greer as Popeye.

Now then interms of what I personally thought / felt about the actual acting that's actually featured / presented to us in this very film well then in all honesty I in all honesty personally thought / felt that the actual acting that's actually featured / presented to us in this very film was in all honesty about as bad as you'd expect it to be. As the acting in one of thee films is never that good and will never be that good and that is something that does sadly continue with this film as well as all of this films actors are a bunch of unknown actors and so it would have been foolish of anyone watching this movie to expect good pr perhaps even great performances out of them with this films actors giving us performances that while there not that bad there just passable at best which to be fair is alot better then alot of the acting that's usually found in these types of films with it also being made perfectly clear that this films writer , editor , one of this films producers and director Paul Stephen Mann not only doesn't know how to direct to his actors and get the best performance out of them as he possibly could have done or that he put alot more focus on the fact that Popeye is the main killer of the film and so just did one take of every single scene of the movie as that's what this films acting feels like it feels like the kind of acting that you'd get on the first take of any scene with the acting that's in this film not really being helped by the fact that this films script is just so bad as it gives none of this films actors absolutely nothing to work with interms of what it is that there respective characters personalities are even meant to be in the first place which is something that really does hurt the overall quality of the acting that's in this very film.


To say that this films characters are just the bogstandard slasher characters would be a huge understatement. As there really is nothing to any of this films characters including the muscle bound version of Popeye as all of the kids have the same personalities that were present in alot of summer camp slasher eighties movies with nothing new added to them outside of the fact that the makers of this film chose to make Olive Oyl a goth for literally no reason whatsoever with this being made when you take into account that none of this films characters outside of the obvious Popeye and Olive Oyl have nothing that make them stand out and feel unique to each other so much so that you could literally swap alot of the characters lines around and give them to other characters in this film and you wouldn't be able to tell the difference as that's just how badly written this film and it's characters are and while it does somewhat make sense that the makers of this film wouldn't spend alot of time developing these characters as the main star of the film is obviously going to be Popeye you still have to write them well and make us the audience care for them as if you don't do that then it means nothing when they do get killed off as us the audiences were never given a reason to care or even like these characters for that matter and this is something that alot of these types of films just don't seem to understand as there more focused on making money quick then they are in creating something that people will actually like and that is something that does more damage not only to there films but to this film as well.


Tog vie this film at the vert least some form of credit it does do something that none of the other Popeye horror films have done and that's actually use one of the titles of one of the original Popeye short films as the main title for your movie. Which to be a fair is a pretty good move as it does show that the makers of this film do have some understanding of what kind of film that there making so much so that they actually do in some comedic moments in this film not even to make it a straight forward horror comedy but enough to make sure that us the audience know that they know what kind of film that there making and that there just going to have fun with it sadly tho none of there jokes are actually funny as all alot of them are are just references to other and better horror movies with the movie even ending on a reference to the post credits scene from the 2013 remake of Evil Dead which just felt weird and out of place with there only being one laugh out loud intentionally funny joke as when we first the comet head towards earth it's this massive thing only for it to be revealed that it's the size of a pebble when it lands in a pre-muscular Popeye's pipe with there being another moment later on in the movie that whilst it was funny it's something that clearly wasn't to be funny as for one of the kills in the film Popeye kills an old man except all you see of the kill is the characters shadows just doing the same motion over and over again while the same sound effect plays over it which was just something that was so bad to see that it was funny to watch because of how bad that it was in the first place.

While this film does get alot of credit for also using a lesser known Popeye character in Castor Oyl the film still doesn't take full advantage of the fact that it's a horror film based on Popeye. With there being none of the other Popeye characters outside of Popeye , Olive and Castor that appear in this film as while the film does hint at the start of the movie that the pre-muscular Popeye is going to be Pappy they quickly get rid of that and while the film does have a character who does look like Bluto the film very quickly kills him off with the character not even being called Bluto with the one thing that would have made all of these Popeye horror films all the more better would have been if they did use the other characters from Popeye and even use the Sweet Heaven name as the main location as that then would allow you to put a horror spin on more then just the most well known character of the bunch and it would have been funny to see Wimpy still just eating a cheeseburger even when all of the characters are being killed which in something like Popeye's Revenge wouldn't have worked as they were playing the story straight but here it would have worked due to the films more comedic and light hearted nature and yet they don't do any of that as they instead play it safe just by having the most well known character in this case Popeye be the main villain which is great to clicks on the internet but it also makes the film alot less fun to watch because of it when if you did include more things from the lore of Popeye as they don't even include a scene with him eating a can of Spinach it would also show that the makers of this film not only knew what kind of film that that there making but that they knew that it was going to be bad film and just decided to have with it anyway.


For some strange reason the makers of this film chose to make Olive into a goth character which is just something that doesn't fit not only the original character but also this films version of her. As they don't really give a reason as to why she is the way that she is and why she dresses the way that she dresses outside of the fact that she's the smart one of the family and that's really it and that's not really enough to justify this change and heck all you'd need to do to justify this change is have one dialog where she says that feels like an outsider and that's why she dresses like she's a goth and heck this would even give her some form of connection to this film take on Popeye who goes from being a sweet old man just looking to do a spot of fishing to being mutated into this killing machine but for one reason or another the makes of this film chose not to put in any actual effort when it comes to explaining why the characters are the way that they are outside of Popeye as even tho the previous Popeye film showed that you can have all of the effort put into making sure that people know that this beloved cartoon character is your main villain and still have a good film with decently written character just by giving them just as much time and attention as your main lead gets and yet here the makers of this film only half did that as while characters like Olive and Popeye get some attention and to a lesser extent Castor does as well but none of the others do and what little attention the Oyl siblings get doesn't tell us much about there character and who they are as people with this being made all the more worse when you take into account that Olive is meant to e this films final girl.

Now then this film has / had an exact grand total running time of exactly one hour and thirteen minuets and twenty nine seconds. Which even for one of these horror films which usually clock in at around one hour and thirty minuets is such a short amount of time as this film really does have more then plot there to cover not only it's current running time but also a slightly longer one as well as the film spends way two much on time on Popeye before he starts killing people with the first kill not happening until the thirty to thirty five minuet mark which given just how short that this film is the film needed to get to the kills by no longer then the ten minuet mark but for some strange reason the makers of this film chose not to use it's running time all that wisely be developing it's characters and instead just giving us a long and pointless scene with them dancing for literally no reason whatsoever which wouldn't be a bad thing if this film was one hour and thirty minuets as then you could get some character development out of it by having the characters just talking to whoever there dancing with at the time but because of the fact that the film isn't that long it makes that incredibly long and pointless sequence feel all the more pointless as that's screen time that could have been better spent by getting to the films kills alot quicker which is something that this film really did need to do and it's something that this films editor really should have done but given the fact that he was also the director , the writer and one of the producers it means that we are stuck with a pointless dancing that does nothing for the characters as it tells us nothing about who these characters are as people but I really will admit that this film really does have some really bad pacing to it tho.


So now then as this is a slasher that really does mean that I have to actually talk about the actual kills that are actually featured / presented to us in this very film well then in all honesty I in all honesty personally thought / felt that the actual kills that are actually featured / presented to us in this very film was in all honesty the true highlight of the film. Not only because alot of them are really good and really entertaining but because of the fact that the one with the old man is just so bad that's laughable which really did make the film alot more entertaining to watch in the first place with this film having alot of really impressive kills that do take advantage of the fact that Popeye is meant to be super strong and because of that we get kills where het quite literally punches a person so hard that there head explodes upon impact with alot of this films kills being really over the top and goofy and while the best kill of the movie does oddly enough go to Popeye himself because of the fact that it's a really over the top and goofy kill as during the final fight with Olive she gets out what can only best be described as a souped-up chainsaw and just slashes at him which was fun to see in this film but at the same time tho what does let alot of this films kills down by quite alot is the fact that they do rely far to much on CGI blood which wouldn't be a bad thing if it wasn't all that noticeable but no it's something that you notice from the very first time that they use it and it's something that does make all of these fun and cool kills somehow seem less fun and less cool and more fake to watch in this very film in my freaking opinions anyways / at least. 


Overall out of the three Popeye horror films that are out there this is the most average one as while it's not as good as Popeye The Slayer Man was it's also not as bad as Popeye's Revenge was as there is some effort to make this film good and watchable it just has a few issues that could have been fixed with a longer running time and that's really it in my freaking opinions anyways / at least. Now then i've talked about all of the good and as well as all of the bad thigs that are in this very film in this very review and as such that really that does mean that this very film really does earn itself a grand old score of exactly a 4.5 out 10 from me.

Now then as for where I personally got all of the images that I personally used in this very review well then boys and girls and as well as ladies and gentlemen I personally got all of the images that I personally used in this very review from Tenor , the official Popeye fandom wiki page and Google Images. With my personally preferred website to use to get images from this film being Google Images simply because Google Images actually has images from this film really are up and on Google Images and plus pretty much much all of the images that I personally found on Google Images were all really very fairly high quality and as well as being as really very fairly high definition as well and so then horror fans we end this review as we always do with really our one and true goddess Elvira wishing us all some really very unpleasant dreams.

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Shiver Me Timbers 2025 Film Review

For some weird reason young horror filmmakers are obsessed with turning Popeye into a slasher villain as this is now the third slasher film ...