Back in the mid to late two thousands the in thing to do when it came to horror films was remakes as we got alot of remakes to alot of horror films back then some were good and some were god awful. The film that i'm going to be talking to you all about today is one of the few films that was just OK so much so that in the sixteen years since it's release no one was really talking about it until very recently when it was announced that one of the writers of this film was trying to get a sequel made and so then join me as I review the film that for some odd reason has Carrie Fisher in it with the film in question being called simply just "Sorority Row" enjoy.
The plot of this film is when a prank on an ex-boyfriend goes wrong and results in one of their own being killed the sisters of a sorority house find themselves being stalked by someone who is hell bent on revenge. Now then interms of what I personally thought / felt about the actual plot that's actually featured / presented to us in this very film well then in all honesty I in all honesty personally thought / felt that the actual plot that's actually featured / presented to us in this very film was in all honesty not that bad however this films plot really isn't all that good as it comes across as being a generic plot to a generic slasher film which granted was all the range back in the mid to late two thousands but at the same time this is a film that really should have took what the first film did with it's plot and do it better and yet the makers of this film instead chose to do something that is basically a clone of I Know What You Did Last Summer only it's not as fresh and it's not as exciting either but to give this film some credit it's plot is fairly well done as it is a plot that is more then strong enough to support an entire feature length film in it's own right it just needed to be anything other then a clone of a movie that was already a clone of another movie as then this films plot could at least make the claim of being an original story but it can't do that when it's copying what another movie did just ten years prior and while this is a remake and so of course it can't be original as it has to fit in moments from the original film as well but if you look at what The Texas Chainsaw Massacre did with it's 2003 remake where it was it's own story but only borrowed elements from the original that is something that proves that you can tell an original story with a remake with the plot of this film not really being really rather entertaining and nor is it really rather engaging either in my freaking opinions anyways / at least.
Starring in this film is Briana Evigan as Cassidy Tappan , Leah Pipes as Jessica Pierson and Rumer Willis as Ellie Morris. Also starring in this film is Jamie Chung as Claire Wen , Margo Harshman as Charlene "Chugs" Bradley , Julian Morris as Andy Richards , The Hills star Audrina Patridge as Megan Blaire , Caroline D'Amore as Maggie Blaire , Matt O'Leary as Garrett Bradley , Matt Lanter as Kyle Tyson , Maxx Hennard as Mickey Donaldson , Rick Applegate as Senator Tyson , Ken Bolden as Dr. Rosenburg , Nicole Moore as Joan , Deja Kreutzberg as Riley and Star Wars legend Carrie Fisher as Mrs. Crenshaw.
Now then interns of what I personally thought / felt about the actual acting that's actually featured / presented to us in this very film well then in all honesty I in all honesty personally thought / felt that the actual acting that's actually featured / presented to us in this very film was in all honesty not that bad. With this films acting being at best OK with alot of this films actors turning in the kind performance that you'd expect to find in a film like this one which to be fait is something that's to be expected as none of this films main actors were that well known at this point and therefor it would have been foolish to expect great performances from them but even Carrie Fisher who we know can act her socks here just feels like that she's putting the bare minimum and not being as good as we know that she can be but then again knowing that apart from her the biggest named star is a reality show star might have informed her choice and not acting that much in this film with the best actor in the whole entire film being Rumer Willis as both she and Briana Evigan feel like that there the only ones that are actually trying to put in a decent performance in this film with Rumer only just pipping her to the post as it were as her character is the better done character out of the two which really isn't saying much but performance wise Rumer is really good in this film with her performance being one of the more enjoyable performances in this whole entire film with the acting that's in this very film not really being helped by the fact that this films script is just so bad as it gives none of this films actors absolutely nothing to work with interms of what it is that there actual characters personalities are even meant to be in the first place which is something that really does harm the overall quality of the acting that's in this very film.
This film fairs about as badly as you'd from a horror film remake from the mid two thousands as the films characters aren't that good. With all of this films characters not being bad persay as there are some decent ideas for characters in here but rather there all undercooked with the film not going all the way with it's characters and as a result of that is the fact that all of this films characters come across as being very one dimensional which fair enough might have been the point as this whole film is meant to be a throwback to the slasher films of the eighties where they did have these under developed characters as the characters were never meant to be the main stars of the film but times had changed since then and horror had changed since then with the makers of the film not giving the audience what they should have given then from a character point as you can tell right from the films poster that this is going to be the kind of film that would be right at home on The CW with the same thing being true for the films characters as well as they are all characters that would feel more at home on a show on The CW and not in a movie as there's really nothing to these characters that hasn't been done better in other and better slasher films with even the likes of Cassidy and Ellie who really are the best characters in this film not being all that good as there's not much to them as the only thing that Ellie does for the vast majority of the film is scream because she's traumatized by the prank that went really wrong and Cassidy just spends the film defending her and that's really it and that doesn't make them good characters but granted they really do come of better when compared to quite literally any of the other characters that are in this very film.
As was noted at the very start of this review this film is actually a remake of the 1982 film The House On Sorority Row. Tho if truth be told this film is more of a very loose remake tho as the only things that they have in common with each other is the fact that they both involve a prank gone wrong , they both have house mother dying and they both take place in a sorority and that's really it as even tho i've not seen the original film I can tell right away from watching this film that the original is the far more better of the two films as in this film it feels like that the film was made to cash in on the remake crazy that was sweeping horror hollywood at the time and clearly wasn't done to address or even fix any of the issues that might have been present in the original film and heck they don't even say that it's a remake of this film in the opening credits for this film as they say that it's based off of "Seven Sisters" which was the original name for the original film but all that does is make people think that there's a film called "Seven Sisters" the film does make changes to the story tho as in the original film it's the house mother that gets pranked and is killed where as in this film it's an ex-boyfriend that gets killed who then accidentally kills one of the sorority sisters that was pranking him but that's really it as apart from that one change to the film the film does nothing new and nothing to make it feel like the original film say what you will about the Rob Zombie's Halloween remake from 2007 but at the very east you could tell that he was trying to make an actual Halloween movie where as here tho you get the impression that the makers of this film hadn't seen the original film despite it being called one of the best slasher films of all time and therefor just did whatever they wanted with the IP just to make some money quickly and that's it.
To give this film some form of credit it does handle it's political messages alot more better then what the 2019 remake of Black Christmas did. As just like in that film alot of the male characters in this film are either evil or dumb as a rock but here tho the makers of the film do at the very least try to make them standout by having one of them becoming mentally unstable due the prank that went wrong and having one of the kills kill him thinking that he's the killer which is something that the 2019 Black Christmas movie never did as that movie was more focused on forcing it's political massages down our throats then it was in being subtle and doing something that's actually good however tho this film still does get alot more things wrong tho as it makes alot of the main characters just come across as being really unlikable as there only keeping this thing a secret so that it won't effect there lives after college and that's really it where as in the 2019 version of Black Christmas the girls did have a legit reason for wanting to stick together and weren't doing so threw fear that there lives when they leave college might be messed up granted there's no way to fix this issue without first going to back to the original film but this is were this film could have been better then the original film tho as they could have come up with a new reason for the girls to stick together and want to keep this secret like maybe have one of the girls have this family member who is high up somewhere and him finding out about this prank could damage his career yes that's not a good idea but it's still an attempt at something new or they could have had the mean girl type of character from the group Jessica force them into keeping it a secret like one of the characters did in the first I Know What You Did Last Summer as that is something that would have added something to her character as well.
Whilst this film isn't listed as being a mystery film the fact that it does have the characters each trying to work out who the killer is does say that this film is pretty much a mystery film. However even there it doesn't really succeed as the film doesn't give us any clues as to who the main killer of this film is even meant to be in the first place and as such when it's revealed that it's Kyle it is something that does come out of nowhere as does the fact that his sole reason for killing people even those that weren't involved with the original prank was to make sure that his girlfriends life out of side of college wasn't messed up is something that does come out of nowhere as alot of the scenes with that character don't give us any clues as to what's really going on with him as a character which makes it feel like that the makers of this film forgot to include who the killer is and so they just made it up moments before filming the big reveal scene whereas if there were scenes that did give us clues as to who the main killer is meant to be and what his motive for doing these crimes was even meant to be then it would have made the mystery aspect all the more better with the only thing that doesn't really add up is why Kyle as it would have made more sense if it was someone that was related to Megan the girl that got pranked at the start of the movie and heck the film even has her younger sister Maggie go to the same college as her and join the same sorority as her so why not make her the main killer with her motive being that she saw the girls quite literally getting away with murder and that be what drives her to do these killings in the first place as then you'd have this new character who could very easily fade into the background when needed and then have that big reveal be just as shocking as the makers of the film wanted the reveal with Kyle to be as well.
Now then this film has / had an exact grand total running time of exactly one hour and forty one minuets and twelve seconds. Which again to be fair to this film is pretty much the exact grand total running time that you'd expect a slasher film from 2009 to have in the first place with this film having just about the right amo8nt of plot there to really cover that amount of running time in the first place however tho that is really the only good thing that can come from this films plot as this film really doesn't use it's running time all that wisely as the plot of the film is that well developed and while this is more due to the fact that the film has a really short running time and is not the fault of the films writers Josh Stolberg and Pete Goldfinger with this film being one that really could have used a longer running time as while yes that would mean having to here more of there dreadful excuse for dialog it would also mean that the films plot could be more developed as well with this having the added benefit of allowing the films characters to actually get some character development as well as the film doesn't develop quite literally of this films characters at all as we know just as much about the characters coming out of the film then we did coming into the film which would then make it easier for us the audience to either love or hate the characters and we would therefor feel sorry for them when they do die in this film but because of the fact that the makers of this film didn't do that it means that we feel nothing when the films character do die but I really will admit that this film really does have some really good pacing to it tho.
So now then as this is a slasher film that really does mean that I have to actually talk about the actual kills that are actually featured / presented to us in this very film well then in all honesty I in all honesty personally thought / felt that the actual kills that are actually featured / presented to us in this very film was in all honesty OK at best. As the kills that we do get to see in this film are pretty decent at the best but the issue is tho is that despite the fact that this film is rated R we don't get to see that much of the kill with alot of the kills being shown from the neck up and even when we get to see alot of the kill we don't get to see anything that's to gory as while we do yes get to see some blood it's only a very small amount of blood at best which makes it look like that the makers of this film were afraid to make an actual horror film and so they didn't go all the way with there kills which is a shame because there some really unique kills in this film they all just needed that little something extra to make them more special then what they already are i the first place and heck we don't even get to see Jamie Chung's death despite it having a cool setting in the sorority's hot tub with the best kill in the whole entire film being the death of Chugs as she gets a bottle of beer rammed down her throat with the open end of the bottle sticking out the other end of her throat which is such a cool kill and it's something that does show that the makers of this film know how to pit together some really creative kills something that they would prove yet again when the writers of this film wrote Saw X and while this film does have characters that are purely there to be killed off alot of there death scenes aren't that interesting either with alot of this films kills being of a very mixed bag ranging from straight up bad to OK at best in my freaking opinions anyways / at least.
Overall this film feels like it would been more at home as a show on The CW as that's just high the bar of quality is for this film as the only thing that makes this film stand out is the fact that it has a reality TV show star and a Star Wars icon in it and that's really it with the rest of the film being nothing more then a generic mess of a film that had potential to be good but the film just couldn't live up to that potential in my freaking opinions anyways / at least. Now then i've talked about all of the good and as well as all of the bad thigs that are in this very film in this very review and as such that really does mean that this very film really does earn itself a grand old score of exactly a 5 out of 10 from me.
Now then as for where I personally got all of the images that I personally used in this very review well then boys an girls and as well as ladies and gentlemen I personally got all of the images that I personally used in this very review from Tenor , MP Awards . Com and Google Images. With my personally preferred website to use to get images from this film being Google Images simply because Google Images actually has images from this film really are up and on Google Images and plus pretty much much all of the images that I personally found on Google Images were all really very fairly high quality and as well as being as really very fairly high definition as well and so then horror fans we end this review as we always do with really our one and true goddess Elvira wishing us all some really very unpleasant dreams.
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