For some reason film makers seem to think that sending a slasher on in this case a classic horror villain into space is a good idea and yet time and time again it never is. As now we have another horror villain that's left earth for space with this one being more of a retelling of the book then being a straight up sequel to any of the films but it is still weird that the makers of this film thought that it was a really good idea for this character to go into space and so then join me as I review the film that might very well be the most boring film of 2026 with the film in question being called simply "Dracula In Space" enjoy.
The plot of this film is when the crew of the space ship Demeter get a told that they have to haul the cargo from a seemingly abandoned ship the crew discover that they might have brought aboard something far more deadly then what they could have ever hoped for. Now then interms of what I personally thought / felt about the actual plot that's actually featured / presented to us in this very film well then in all honesty I in all honesty personally thought / felt that the actual plot that's actually featured / presented to us in this very film was in all honesty not that good as the films plot isn't that creative at all with it coming across as knock off of the plot of Alien only without the charm and cleverness to pull it off this wouldn't be a bad thing however if the plot of the film at least advanced alot of the time and yet for one reason of another the makers of this film instead chose to make this film a slow burner film which means that the films dreadful plot goes for large portions of it's already small running time with nothing happening to advance the plot at all now to be fair having a slow burn plot is something that could work if the film in question really had a plot that demands it really be one yet here the plot of the film and the films title demand that the films plot be one that really moves at a quicker pace as given the title of the film you'd really expect the film to have a plot that's snappy and that's fun to watch and yet this film has a plot that's neither of those things with the plot of this film not really being really rather entertaining and nor is it really rather engaging either in my freaking opinions anyways / at least.
Starring in this film is Ash Grey Blonde star and The Bucket star Charlotte Reidie as Captain Harker and this films producer and Winnie-The-Pooh: Blood And Honey 2 star Louisa Warren as Captain Reyes. Also starring in this film is Bikini Shark star Jessie Vinning as Stoker , Winnie-The-Pooh: Blood And Honey 2 star Marcus Massey as Dracula , Paul Leon as Morris , Ashley O'Brien as Seward and Kamahri May as Juno.
Now then interms of what I personally thought / felt about the actual acting that's actually featured / presented to us in this very film well then in all honesty I in all honesty personally thought / felt that the actual acting that's actually featured / presented to us in this very film was in all honesty not that good. With the best word that could be used to describe this films acting being wooden as that's exactly what it is alot of the time it's wooden with all of the films actors turning in these wooden and bland performances with it being made clear as day that this films director Gregory William Randolph Jr. had no idea of how to direct his actors however o be fair to him he has only made two other films before this one with him mostly making short films but he does have to learn how to talk to his actors as that's how you get good performances out of them and if your not going to do that then you better cast some amazing actors in your project something which given the fact that this film was a small budgeted British independent film he was never ever going to do and as a result the films acting does suffer quite alot with the best actor in the whole entire film being Marcus Massey as Dracula as he really comes across as the only one that's actually trying to turn in a good performance and while his performance in the film isn't amazing it's alot better then the performances from the rest of this films actors as they all really feel like that there phoning in their performances with the acting that's in this film not really being helped by the fact that this films script is just so bad as it gives none of this films actors absolutely nothing to work with interms of what it is that there actual characters personalities are even meant to be in the first place which is something that really does harm the overall quality of the acting that's in this very film.
To say that this films characters are bland and forgettable characters would be a huge understatement as that's exactly what they are. As there's nothing to these characters that makes them interesting characters with all having the same bland character type and look fair enough these films are made cheaply and quickly but you still have to take the time to give us some good characters that we want to see make it to the end of the film and yet in this film what we get is characters that we feel nothing for as the film doesn't give us a reason to care for any of them with alot of them quite literally being characters that are knocked off from other forms of Dracula media with a few of them baring the same name of others that are heavily associated with Dracula which is fair enough but when you give us characters that just remind us of other better characters then you owe it to your characters to make them good and to make them memorable and yet here in this film despite the fact that there's already an android character in the film all of the characters act like there robots with Captain Harker being the stereotypical stoic leader of the group who wouldn't know what a smile is if it came up and hit her in the face Reyes being a useless character who is only there for eye candy and that's really it with the rest of the films characters including Dracula being just as boring and as bland as the rest of the films characters as they do feel like the kind of characters that you'll find in the first draft of a script and while this film might have only had one draft the makers of this film should have spent the extra money and spent the extra time on a re-write as that would then allow them to fix the films characters and to make them better then what they are in this film.
Look to be fair to this film the very idea of doing a Dracula movie in space is one that's a very good idea. Yet it's also one that could go very badly wrong if it's not handled right and that's exactly what happens here in this film as the makers of this film were more bothered by giving us references to Dracula then the were in giving us a fun film say what you will about Jason X but then one thing that you can't say about that film is that it's boring as there's always something happening be it a cool kill or the plot is being moved forward in a somewhat creative way yet here in this film tho none of that happens with the film really taking it's time in letting things happen whilst this is of course done to build up tension which is fair enough as that it something that you do need in a Dracula story but here the film isn't long enough and therefor the film really does need to get to the good stuff alot quicker as or else the audience is going to fall asleep watching the film as there's quite large portions of the film where nothing is happening due to the fact that were getting countless scenes of the characters just sitting and talking which is fair enough as they have to get across plot information but here it comes at the expense of having a fun and entertaining film where as with Jason X that film knew right away that it was going to be a dumb fun filled slasher film and wasn't afraid to be anything more then that and yet given the fact that this film is titled "Dracula In Space" which is something that does make you think that your going to be getting a dumb film the film oddly enough tries to be something that it's not as this isn't a film that demands that you take it seriously this is instead a film that you should laugh at how bad it is and how dumb it is.
Look fair point this film was made very cheaply but for some odd reason this film looks like that it was filmed in the house of one of the producers. Yet the film is meant to take place on a space ship in outer space yet we don't actually get to see outer space in this film barring for a few very badly done FX shots which the film does take great pride in showing us with this being something that does make the film feel alot more smaller as this ship is meant to be huge and yet we don't get to see much of it rather we just get to see a few rooms and few corridors and that's really it which is something that makes you wonder why the makers of this film chose to make this film as they quite clearly didn't have the finds to make it as good as they could have done as they could have had some steam coming out of some pipes and some pipes up on the wall to make it look like that we're in the engine room or for when we are the main eating quarters they could have had some lights on and have some tables in the background just anything to give that set more life and make the the world of this film feel more real and yet because of the fact that the film has some VFX shots which they take great pride in showing us it means that the rest of the film gets to look fan made at best and the effects get to loon decent by comparison with the film having some admittedly cool looking effects for when Dracula is defeated at the end of the film but that doesn't make up for the fact that the rest of the film just looks bland and while yes the makers of this film were working well within there means which is fair enough when you do a film that's set in space the audience expects to see something new crew and creative and yet all we got for this sip was something that's bland and forgettable.
To give this film some form of credit it does do something interesting by having Dracula basically invade the dreams of the characters. With this being done as a way to convince them to join him or to let him bite them which is a cool idea and again to the films credit the film does go as far as they could have done with it given the fact that they didn't have a bug budget to work with in the first place with the only thing that lets that idea down being the fact that nothing very rarely if ever comes of it as while yes we do get some kills out of it they happen very rarely with us not really getting to see how these visions effect the crew mentally which is something that would have been very interesting to see and it would have given us a new and interesting angle as well and yet the makers of this film don't do that which makes would could have been a really cool addition to the film as now we would have the fact that the crew is being made more and more mentally unstable as the film goes on which is something that would have been interesting to see as we don't get to see that happen in a lot of Dracula media and yet because of the act that this film is being ore focused on knocking off Alien then it is in being a good Dracula story that has some really cool things in it it does mean that the only genuinely good idea that the film has feels underused alot of the time as it would have been cool to see Dracula use that skill to get the upper hand on the crew just by planting moments of doubt which yes would have been a small thing but it still would have something that would have helped to make this really bland and boring film stand out from all of the other Dracula films out there.
Now then this film has / had an exact grand total running time of exactly one hour and twenty one minuets and twenty three seconds. Which for any other horror film would have been a decent running time for the film to have and yet this film is slow burner which is something that doesn't really work with the fact that the film has a really short running time and yet the film spends so much time in just having the characters explore the ship in the first place and not enough time in it's plot with the film not even having enough plot to cover that amount of running time as by all rights the film only has enough plot to cover about forty five minuets and that's really it and yet the makers of the film have lots of scenes that are just filler scenes as a way to get the film up to feature length with alot of those scenes being just way to expand something that usually would have taken a few seconds to do with the film not even using it's running time all that wisely as the film doesn't take the time to fully it's plot which fair enough it might not have to do as this film is telling a really simple story and doesn't need to be that well developed as a result of it as the film spends far to much time in setting up the plot then it does in giving us scenes that actually develop it when it would have made more sense for this film to spend alot more time in giving the film some kind of plot development instead of just having things happening for the sake of it with the film not even taking the time to give the characters any kind of character development as we get to find nothing about any of this films characters heck we don't even get to find the first names of any of the films characters as that's how underdeveloped that they all are as we get to find out nothing about what it is that makes these characters tick in the first place but I really will admit that this film really does have some really bad pacing to it tho.
So now then as this is a horror film that really does mean that I gave to actually talk about the actual kills that are actually featured / presented to us in this very film well then in all honesty I in all honesty personally thought / felt that the actual kills that are actually featured / presented to us in this very film was in all honesty really bad. With alot of the films kills being lame at best and at worst being off screen with the film not really putting alot of thought and effort into it's kills with it feeling like that the makers of his film didn't put that much thought and effort into the films kills as they all feel just lame and while yes granted there's only so much that you can do with Dracula as the main villain as there are only so many that you can see him biting someone before it starts to get dull and boring and to be fair this film doesn't really show him biting someone all that often as alot of the time he just basically takes over them which is something that they don't explain with the film not really having a kill that you could say is the best kill in the film as all of the films kills are just bland and forgettable as they have nothing about them that makes standout as they all just feel bland and generic like they could have been kills that were in other films as there's nothing that makes them feel unique to this film with the film not even taking advantage of the fact that there in space or the fact that they have Dracula be the main villain of the film and yet if the film did any of that then we would have gotten some really good kills in it and yet for one reason or another the makers of the film didn't bother to give us some good kills in it with all of the films kills being lame with the same thing even being true for Dracula's death which is the only semi-decent death in the whole entire film in my freaking opinions anyways / at least.
Overall no matter how bad Minnie's Massacre ends up being it won't be as bad as this film is as this film isn't even a film that's so bad that it's good as it's just painfully bad film that is more then boring to watch as it's also a chore to watch and a chore to get through as well in my freaking opinions anyways / at least. Now the i've talked about all of the good and as well as all of the bad things that are in this very film in this very review which really does mean that this very film really does earn itself a grand old core of exactly a 0 out of 10 from me.
Now then as for where I personally got all of the images that I personally used in this very review well then boys and girls and as well as ladies and gentlemen I personally got all of the images that I personally used in this very review from Tenor , IMP Awards . Com and Google Images. With my personally preferred website to use to get images from this film being Google Images simply because Google Images actually has images from this film really are up and on Google Images and plus pretty much much all of the images that I personally found on Google Images were all really very fairly high quality and as well as being as really very fairly high definition as well and so then horror fans we end this review as we always do with really our one and true goddess Elvira wishing us all some really very unpleasant dreams.
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