Horror fans we now sadly live in a world where it seems like every single film that's being made is either a remake / reimagining , sequel or a reboot and well with these types of films pretty invading cinema screens you just know that it was about time that TV channels started getting in on the act. Well SYFY has now given us another horror remake to add to our every growing and seemingly never ending list of horror film remakes that are bad so join as I review the remake that we didn't want or even need for that matter with the film in question being called freaking simply just "Slumber Party Massacre" enjoy.
The plot of this film is a bunch of teenage girls go up to a cabin in the woods to have a girls only weekend but there plans go awry when they start getting killed of one by one and so the kills have to find out who the killer is and put a stop to these killing before it's far to freaking late. Now then in terms of what I thought / felt about the plot of this film in all honesty I in all honesty thought / felt that the plot of this film is just freaking bad since for starters the plot that described to you only covers the first hour of this movie with the remaining twenty six minuets having a completely different plot all together but it doesn't matter because plots of this film are just s freaking bad in my freaking opinion anyways / at least.
Starring in this film is Hannah Gonera as Dana , Frances Sholto-Douglas as Maeve and Alex McGregor as Breanie. Also starring in this film is Mila Rayne as Alix , Reze-Tiana Wessels as Ashley , Schelaine Bennett as Adult Trish , Masali Baduza as Young Trish , Rob Van Vuuren as Russ Thorn , Jane De Wet as Jackie , Reem Koussa as Kim , Larissa Crawford-Lazarus as Diane , Michael Lawrence Potter as John , Arthur Falko as Chad , Nathan Castle as Sean , Eden Classens as Matt , Richard White as Guy , Braeden Buys as Guy 2 and Richard Wright-Firth as Dave.
Now then in terms of what I thought / felt about the acting that's featured / presented to us in this very film in all honesty I in all honesty thought / felt that the acting that's featured / presented to us in this very film was very freaking bad in my opinion anyways / at least. This is of course no fault of either the actors or the actresses that are appearing in / starring in this very film since the script for this film is so bad that none of the this films cast could make a script that's this bad work and turn in a good performance at the exact same time in my opinion anyways / at least.
Now then as you guys and girls and whatever you all are might have worked out this film is infact a remake of 1982 "The Slumber Party Massacre" and well like pretty every single horror remake ever made the original film is far superior to this terrible remake. Simply because the original film knew that it was a campy horror movie where this film tries to be both horror film and a comedy film and it fails at being both of those things because it's takes itself far to seriously and plus the comedy just isn't that freaking funny in my opinion anyways / at least.
Now then like alot of more modern hollywood films this film is more focused on pushing an agenda down your throats then it is in telling an actually good story. Since there are straight up lines of dialog from one the films very few males characters where he mentions his quote unquote "toxic masculinity" and i'm not going the spoil the best worst scene in this movie because it's pretty much a gender reversed swap of a scene from the original movie but it's somehow done even worse and is even more laughably bad in this freaking movie in my opinion anyways / at least.
So now then this film is pretty much a remake in name only since even tho this film does indeed take it's name , some character names and the killers main weapon from the original film. Everything else however is one hundred percent original and the original elements that this film has are either badly done or are badly written with all of the films main female characters having the personality trait of being the strange feminist one and all of this films male cast of characters all having the personality trait of being the dumb one which is just plain old bad freaking screen writing in my opinion anyways / at least.
Now then in all of the things that I was expecting to see in this film one of the things that I wasn't expecting to see was a reference to The Slumber Party Massacre 2. This simply because all of the Slumber Party Massacre film sequels were all cult hits and aren't that well known outside of the horror fandom /horror community and so it was really well and truly to see this film reference The Slumber Party Massacre 2 simply just due to how little known the Slumber Party Massacre sequels are in my opinion anyways / at least.
So now then this film has / had a grand total running time of exactly one hour and twenty five minuets and fifty nine seconds and so lets round all of that up to one hour and twenty six minuets shall we and well in my opinion this film is very freaking horribly. Not for scenes going to slow but rather the opposite since scenes go by far to quickly and plus like I said very earlier on in this very review this film finishes up with one plot line before the one hour mark which for a remake is not a good thing at all in my opinion anyways / at least.
So now then given that this film is a slasher horror film that means that I have to actually talk about the actual kills that are actually featured / presented to us in this very film and well in all honesty I in all honesty thought that the actual kills that are actually featured / presented to us in this very film are the actually the best part of this entire film / movie in my opinion anyways / at least. This is simply because most of the kills that are in this very film are pretty unique and are very cool and gruesome to see on screen in this actual / very / particular / exact film in my opinion anyways / at least.
Overall this film is a remake that should be avoided at all freaking costs because this film is that well and truly and freaking bad and you actually save yourself one hour and twenty six minuets by choosing not to actually watch this film in my opinion anyways / at least. Now then i've talked about all of the good and as well as all of the bad things that are in this very film in this very review and as such that means that this films earns itself a grand old score of exactly a 3.5 out of 10 from me.
Now then as for where I personally got all of the images that I personally used in this very review well then boys and girls and as well as ladies and gentlemen I personally got all of the images that I personally used in this very review from the official Black Christmas fandom wiki page and Google Images. With my personally preferred website to use to get images from this film being Google Images simply because Google Images actually has images from this film up on Google Images and pus pretty much much all of the images that I personally found on Google Images were all fairly high quality and as well as being as fairly high definition and so then horror fans we ends this review as we always do with our ne and true goddess Elvira wishing us all some very unpleasant dreams.
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